Note Passing : Cullen Style
by cullen twins
Summary: Randomness Galore! ooc and tad bit au! have fun. A few ideas taken from the story Pens and Sharpies. safely rated M just in case.
1. Extra Butts

Okay me and the other twin got our ideas from pens and sharpies

_**Okay me and the other twin got our ideas from pens and sharpies. We own nothing for the first few chapters.**_

Bella **Edward**

Edward?

**Yes?**

What if I had an extra butt?

**Ummm… you'd have to have a specially made toilet?**

Omfg! Your right! Do they even make special toilets?

**Idk. I don't pee Bella.**

That's right… do you feel perpetually backed up?

**No I peed before I got changed Bella. **

Oh. I have to pee now.

**Please go Bella.**

Kay. Love you!

**Love you too Bella. Now go before you pee your pants.**

Too late.

**Thought I smelled something…**


	2. IN YOUR PANTS!

Bella Edward

Bella **Edward**

Edward?

**Yes?**

Think of a song. Any song.

**May I ask why?**

No! Now think of one.

**Ummmm…. Get silly.**

IN YOUR PANTS!

**Lion?**

In your pants.

**Emmett.**

….

IN YOUR PANTS!

**Bella Bella Bella. What am I going to do with you?**

Love me?

**Always.**

IN YOUR PANTS!


	3. DO IT!

**HEY!! Yupp another chapter this time it was made by the other twin Vanessa Wolfe instead of what-about-edward, because SOMEONE wouldn't help me in science. I hope you all like it. I have a few chaps I will right on my own and hopefully the others will be with what-about-edward. Ok, well, peace and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, do you think I would be on fanfiction? Didn't think so.**

* * *

Bella **Edward** _Alice _Surprise Guest

(Bella twitches over exaggeratedly.)

**What are you doing, love?**

(Bella stops twitching to read note.)

I am twitching. What does it look like?

(continues twitching)

_A seizure in slow motion._

**Well, I think it's cute.**

_In a seizurely way._

(Bella stops twitching to grab note.)

Edward, you think everything I do is cute.

(continues to twitch)

_That is so TRUE!_

**So…?**

_Why exactly are you twitching?_

It's fun! DO IT! Do it, do it, do it!

(Alice starts twitching then stops.)

_Woah… she's right!_

(Alice continues twitching. Bella stops.)

Do it, Edward, DO IT!!

**Bella, that's utterly absurd.**

Pwease, do it, pwease.

**Oh, fine. But only because I love you.**

Is there any other reason?

(Bella rolls eyes and starts twitching. Edward slowly starts then gets the hang of it. Alice is still twitching. Emmett walks down…)

"I won't bother you…"

(Emmett grabs paper.)

YOU GUYS ARE WEIRD!!

(Emmett slowly backs out of the room. While somehow knocking over three vases and a coffee table.)


	4. Blurple

Bella Edward Alice

Bella **Edward** _Alice_

Alice!

_Bella!_

You did something different to your room!

_Yeah, I repainted it blue._

That's not blue, it's like a purple…that looks like blue.

_No, it's blue!_

NO!! IT'S BLURPLE!!

_Blurple?_

Yeah, like a mix of blue and purple! Blurple!

_There is no such thing as Blurple, Bells. _

I beg to differ! EDWARD! **(She yells as she writes.)**

**Yes, love?**

What color is Alice's room?

**Um, defiantly Blurple.**

_THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BLURPLE!!_

Whatever Alice, Edward would never lie.

**Yes Alice, it is Blurple.**

IN YOUR PANTS!


	5. Trucker Hats

What-about-Edward here

**What-about-Edward here!! Yes indeed I did write last chapter and this chapter. Vanessa needs to get her ass in gear! But I understand because school is a bitch right now! But I know she has a chapter she just needs to type it. Oh! And tell her to forward the reviews please! If you leave one… WHICH YOU SHOULD!**

Bella **Edward**

Hey Edward!! (holding something behind back)

**Hello Love, what's in your hand?**

Nothing…. (slowly backs away)

**Fine don't tell me… I'll just dazzle you! **

NO!! I'll show you… (pulls out a trucker hat that says…)

"**What Vampire"? Who gave this to you?**

Jacob

**Who?!**

JACOB!!

**Ugh, should have known… do you have a sharpie?**

Sure …why?

**You'll see…** (hands hat back)

"What A Vampire" I love it!

**Thank you, love.**

(puts hat on) I like it much better now

**IN YOUR PANTS!!**

THAT'S MY LINE!!


	6. GUESS!

**A/N: This is yo FAV author NESSII**

**A/N: This is yo FAV author NESSII! Ok, so, I was on the bus and I was started out writing a different chapter but it turned into this. I have four Chapters ready but one of them is on my phone so you won't be getting that one very soon because I'm grounded. I'm a naughty girl. Actually it's because I wrote a note to someone saying a few choice words that my parents don't approve of. I thought I had lost the note at school but nope I had lost it at home and they found it. I then got grounded even longer because I am failing English. It's not because I'm bad at that subject. It's obvious I'm not. It's cause I didn't turn in some assignments. BTW I do think Blockbuster is expensive. End A/N**

**P.S. I love you all so please review. End P.S.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Blockbuster, or a giant dragon unfortunately. If I happened to own these things I would be boasting about my Twilight rights burning Blockbusters to the ground and having my dragon eat people. Thank you.**

GUESS!!

Bella **Edward **_Alice_

Guess what Eddie-Poo.

**What?**

GUESS.

**What?**

Huh?

**Guess.**

What?

**GUESS!**

STOP THE CHAOTIC CONFUSION!!

**What?**

Stop.

**Ok.**

So seriously guess what.

**Blockbuster is a scam and the world will be eaten by a giant dragon.**

How did you know?

**I'm special.**

_Believe what you want Edward. Bella I saw it in a vision and he read my mind._

Oh.

**Ruin the fun.**

_If I hadn't this would go on forever._

**We have time.**

**A/N: You guys love me don't you?( sorry it called to me page 465 of New Moon) If you truly loved me you would leave a review. If you don't review I will sick my attack turtle on you, and he and his squirrel cousins will eat your toes and fingers, then burn the top half of your body and bury the bottom half alive. Yes it is possible… just think about it.**


	7. Wolf Babies

**A/N: This is Vanessa Wolfe reporting for duty once again. Right now I am the brain of the twins because I have more free time. Why, you ask? Because I am grounded. I would be doing mostly homework but I think my teachers know when I'm grounded so that they can give me less homework. Most kids would be happy but I am not because I have nothing to do thus I write more chapters. I have two other chapters for you guys but one is on my phone, which I am grounded from, so only one. I will not post the other one until I get at least 15 reviews on this chapter. COME ON YOU GUYS AND GIRLS! Show me who you love! I want more comments on this chapter than Wae can ever dream of getting. I obviously love you guys more because I am posting a lot right now. Don't worry I have more in my random brain. Oh and sorry you did not enjoy the last chapter xXxJasperLuverxXx Peace. And enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I OBVIOUSLY don't own Twilight. I only enjoy putting them in random and possibly awkward situations.**

WOLF BABIES!? Wolf babies.

Bella **Edward** Emmett _Jasper_

Well, aren't you so cute!

**Why thank you.**

I wasn't talking to you.

**Oh… ok…then um whom were you talking to?**

Noooo one.

**Tell me.** (smiles a beautiful, lovely, charming, dazzling smile.)

… wolf babies…

**WHAT?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?**

Well, when a man loves a woman they start to feel more intimate

Please, just stop there.

**EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS HAPPENED!**

Easy, Bella got laid before you.

**Not funny! This is a serious matter.**

How else would they be wolf babies.

I didn't give birth to them.

JACOB MUST HAVE!!

**Emmett, shut up. Bella, who gave birth to them then?**

Alice.

_WHAT!? How did that happen?! Vampire… wolf… Alice… babies…ALICE…_

HAHAHA just kidding!

_Thank god, bye._

**Then who did?**

(Bella does the shifty eyes thingy.)

…………… JACOB IMPRINTED ON AN ACTUAL WOLF!

No way! That's hilarious!

**Wow… that's creepy…**

In more ways than one.

**A/N: Thanks everyone for enduring that one. I wrote it on the way to Santa-cali-gon Days (a cool festival). Wae was with me in the car and we both wrote a chapter. It was a cool festival. It had a carnival and Wae dry heaved. It made me think of when vampires when they eat human food. Haha poor Wae.**

**Review. Do it. Now. I know you want to. Yes I am that special. Do not think such cruel thoughts about me. JUST FRIZZIN REVIEW!! Thank you.**


	8. Broken Bella

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my friend Phoebe and her special randomness. Sorry Wae but you will get a chapter some day. Wow I don't have anything to say in this except I will be updating three times today for the monthaversary. This is a special moment for me. So please review for this special occasion.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: Emmett, I swear, I shall own you one day.**

**Emmett: HELL NO!**

**Me: Yes, it shall happen soon too.**

**Emmett: (slowly backs away a few yards then races away in a blur)**

**Edward: Woah, this is a once in a lifetime thing. He is scared of you.**

**Me: (crazy smile) MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Broken Bella

_Alice_ Bella **Edward**

_Bella, are you okay?_

YOUR PAPA!

_First of all I don't know who he is and second of all WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?_

Silly, Tina, butterflies don't eat bananas they eat oranges.

_Who is this Tina you speak of?_

My best friend!

_What about me?_

MOMMA!!

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god._

**What were you oh god-ing in your mind, Alice?**

_I THINK I BROKE YOUR FIANCE!!_

**You what?!**

_I'm sorry, Edward, I'm sorry! Don't burn me!_

TIGAH TIGAH TIGAH TIGAH TIGAH!!

_I'm sorry, Edward! I will do whatever you want!_

**Fine. You have to go to the mall tomorrow dressed as a hobo.**

_Ok. Fine… Wait… WHAT?! I can't do that!_

(Edward raises an eyebrow)

_OK! I will!_

**Haha. Now you have to dress like a hobo…… Bella didn't get any sleep last night so I got her a coffee…..Bella and coffee…. Bad mix.**

Mixah tixah make me wanna lixya

**IN YOUR PANTS!**

OH EDIWARD! THAT WAS NAUGHTY. Hehe Eddie was naughty.

* * *

**A/N: Does that hehe bother you Wae? Lol. Well I got this chapter once when I was about to fall asleep. Soon after I got the idea I fell asleep… without writing it down. I woke up in the morning and couldn't remember it. Then at a baseball game with Wae I remembered so I typed it on my phone.**

**REVIEW FOR THE MONTHAVERSARY!!**


	9. Lickname

Edward Bella

**Edward **Bella

(licking her arm) lick Alice lick Emmett lick lick lick EDWARD!

**WHY ARE YOU NAMING YOUR SPIT??**

It is called lick-naming. Get over it.

**What is lick naming?**

Where you lick various parts of your body and name them randomly till they dry up.

**Why did you lick mine three times??**

Because I want it to stay… IN YOUR PANTS!!

**Very funny Bella.**

Well I just figured since you were being utterly absurd.

**THAT'S MY LINE!!**

You use mine all the time Edward. Don't get your venom in a pool.

**Wow. i have no words to describe how politically incorrect that was.**

IN YOUR PANTS!!

**Lol I love writing random things. I hope you like the 6 CHAPTER DEAL WE MADE FOR YOU!! Monthaversaries are amazing. You know what else is amazing? REVIEWS! We have 807 hits but ten reviews. That makes me sad. Please please please review. Please! I love you guys!**


	10. Cullen, Its Funny!

Bella Edward Emmett

Bella **Edward **Emmett

Cullen c-ullen cu-llen cul-len

**Why are you repeating my last name in a funny fashion?**

Just say it weird. It's funny!

**Cullen. It is really not that funny.**

Keep saying it!!

**Cul-len cull-en CULLEN!! Lol my name is funny!!**

Yes it is. I have a new lickname for the one on my bicep.

**What is it?**

CUL-LEN!!

Hey guys whats up?

**IN YOUR PANTS**!! (in unison)

Stop using my lines Edward.


	11. I didn't want to do this

From Vanessa 3

I'M **_SO_** SORRY!!!!!!!! I still love you guys. I just have been grounded for a long time. I _**swear**_ I didn't forget you! Wae did though. She was over last night and we decided to right a bunch of chapters because we haven't updated in a long time but then my other friend Tauna(Tah-nuh)(whom maddi kept calling Tonya ;P) so we didn't have time. I am writing one **_right now_** but then it will be her turn so you will have to turn on her. That's right I do mean annoy the **_sh!t_** out of her. Well I _**love**_ you. Peace

Your loyal author,

NESSII!!!!!!


	12. Halloween

**A/N: Alright peoples I told you I would update today. Well, actually I told you I was writing one right now. I think this one is truly funny but that is probably because I am in a weird mood right now. I would say sorry about bringing up Christmas for all you people that don't celebrate it but I don't care! I could really care less if you find this offensive. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Halloween or Christmas. I wish I owned Alice… and Edward… and Bella.**

* * *

Halloween

Bella **Edward** _Alice_

Ok so here's how it went down…

**Great it's story time.**

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Eddie-kins don't be a party pooper.

_Vampires can't poop._

**I don't think she meant it literally.**

… _Oh…_

As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…

**Get on with it.**

SHUT UP!!!

**Uh(that was an 'I am broken' sound)**

I didn't want to have to do it… JASPER MADE ME!!!

_No he didn't! He is hunting with Emmett._

SILENCE!

Thank you.

**No prob.**

_Get on with it._

**In your pants.**

Guess what Jake and me did last Halloween!

**It's almost Christmas and you are deciding to tell us now?**

Yes…

_Tell me! It's eating me alive._

**In your pants.**

GUESS what we did!

**I have no idea.**

_Ate a gorilla, played with a toaster, liked a stranger's shoe, played patty cake with syrup…_

**Where did that come from?**

…ummm… that's some of the stuff we did.

**Whaaaaaaaat?!?!**

_Get in the Christmas Spirit and be nice_

**Be nice…(eye twitch)… be nice**

I'm scared.

_It's ok._

**All better.**

_On with the story!_

Well then Jake got out a strong smelling/tasting liquid. Next all I remember is waking up on Mike Newton's coffee table with nothing but jeans on…

**…**

on my head…

_HAHAHAHAHAHA all time high! Where was Jake?_

In Mike Newton's bed with the owner of said bed's stiffy in his back

**I feel better about this now.**

In bed.

* * *

A/N: I think that was exceptionally funny. But that could just be me. Well please review. If we don't get 20 reviews I will not let Wae update.

**THANKS FOR READING! I love you!**


	13. Edward eats PuppyChow

Okay, so I havent been updating at all. I realize this, I do. New school, new drama, new shit. So this is my update, be happy about it and f-ing review!

**Edward **Bella _Emmett_

**Um, bella….?**

(talking with mouth full) yes?

**Why are you eating dog food?**

Its very simple, someone at school said that they love puppychow and that I should try it sometime! So when you were hunting, I went hunting for some PuppyChow!!!!

…………

Its really not all that good at first…. But then once you get used to it, its pretty tasty!!!

**You… are…. Eating….. dog…. Food?**

You just don't know what its like cause you don't eat.

**Why are you eating it out of a dog bowl, might I ask?**

To get a better effect! I figure if im doing this I better do it right.

**IN YOUR PANTS! **

Edward, what did we say about that?

Sorry…..

Now you have to eat the dog food.

**WHAT?! No Bella. I love you, but not that much.**

Hmmm… change me into a vamp… or eat the dog food…. you can pick!

**Fine… ill eat it.**

IN YOUR PANTS!

**And here I thought you loved me!**

I do love you Edward! That's why you get this delicious experience!!!

**Mmhmmm…. (he gets down and starts eating the dog food.)**

_DUDE!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!_

In your pants!!!


End file.
